Motivational Interviewing for Coaches: OARS and Examples

How do you coach someone who says they want to change, then gives you ten good reasons not to? Stop building a stronger argument. Motivational interviewing gives a trained coach a way to explore that ambivalence without taking over the decision.

The practical shift is simple: help the client hear their own reasons, concerns and choices before asking for a plan. Your job is not to win an argument with the part of them that wants things to stay the same.

This guide explains motivational interviewing for coaches, the four OARS skills, how to distinguish different kinds of client language, and what a useful conversation can sound like. All dialogues are original hypothetical examples, not client transcripts or evidence of results.

What is motivational interviewing in coaching?

Motivational interviewing, usually shortened to MI, is a collaborative, goal-oriented communication approach that pays particular attention to a person's own language about change. The Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers, or MINT, describes it as a guiding style between simply following a conversation and directing someone with advice.

In coaching, it is especially relevant when the client has mixed feelings about a change they have identified: applying for a role, delegating work, protecting personal time or beginning a realistic activity routine. Ambivalence means there are reasons on both sides. It does not automatically mean laziness, dishonesty or a lack of commitment to coaching.

MI is not a trick for making people choose your preferred outcome. It is also not another name for asking open questions. The attitude, shared direction, listening and response to the client's language matter as much as the wording.

For a coach, the first test is ownership: Whose change are we discussing? If an employer wants better delegation but the client wants help deciding whether to stay in the job, you do not yet have an agreed target. Establish that agreement before trying to strengthen motivation.

Start with the relationship, not the technique

MINT emphasizes partnership, acceptance, compassion and drawing on the person's own resources. In practice, this means being curious about what staying the same protects, not treating it as an obstacle you must dismantle.

A client may want to stop working late and also fear disappointing colleagues. Both statements can be sincere. If you rush to sell the benefits of leaving earlier, the client can end up explaining why working late makes sense. Now you are rehearsing opposite sides of a debate.

A more useful opening is: “You want your evenings back, and being dependable matters to you. Where would you like to start?” The reflection acknowledges the tension without declaring either concern irrational.

Watch your own stake in the answer. Wanting a good testimonial, a package renewal or evidence for a sponsor can make a coach surprisingly attached to visible action. The client should not have to protect your sense of effectiveness by agreeing to a goal they do not own.

What does OARS stand for?

OARS means Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections and Summaries. These are core communication skills used throughout MI, not four stages you complete once in order.

1. Open questions: invite exploration without hiding advice

An open question invites more than a yes or no. A useful one also leaves the client room to disagree with your assumptions.

• Instead of: “Have you thought about blocking time for exercise?”
• Try: “What place, if any, would you like movement to have in your week?”
• Then listen for: what matters to this person, not whether they accept your solution.

A question can be grammatically open and still pushy. “How will you finally stop making excuses?” is not respectful exploration. Remove the accusation before you improve the question.

Ask one question, then listen. A chain of excellent questions can still feel like an interrogation if you never offer back what you understood.

2. Affirmations: notice something specific and credible

An affirmation recognizes a strength, effort, value or useful action. It is not a gold star for agreeing with the coach.

“You asked your colleague for feedback even though you expected it to be uncomfortable” is specific. “You're amazing” is warm but gives the client little to recognize or use.

Stay within the evidence. If the client missed an action, you might genuinely recognize their willingness to discuss it honestly. Do not invent perseverance, bravery or progress because the conversation needs an encouraging moment.

3. Reflections: offer back meaning and allow correction

A reflection is usually a statement, not a disguised question. It communicates your understanding so the client can hear it, elaborate or correct you.

• Client: “I want to apply, but I can't face another rejection.”
• Simple reflection: “Applying again feels risky.”
• More interpretive reflection: “You want a different role, and you are protecting yourself from another disappointment.”

The second reflection adds a possible meaning. Treat that meaning as a tentative understanding, not a revelation about the client's unconscious motives. If they say, “No, it's the time involved,” accept the correction.

4. Summaries: connect what matters without editing out the dilemma

A summary brings together several things the client has said. It can check shared understanding or create a transition.

“You want more responsibility, you enjoyed leading the last project, and you are worried about losing time with your family. Have I missed anything important?” is a useful check. A summary that includes only the reasons to accept a promotion quietly changes the client's meaning.

When there is an agreed change goal, a summary can highlight the client's reasons for it while accurately acknowledging concerns. It should not manufacture certainty that the client has not expressed.

Change talk, sustain talk and discord are different signals

Listen in relation to the specific change you have agreed to explore. The same sentence can mean something different when the target changes.

Change talk favors the agreed change

“I'd like my evenings back,” “I managed this once before,” and “I need to try something different” can all point toward a change. They may express desire, ability, reasons or need. They are not necessarily commitments.

Respond with curiosity: “What would getting your evenings back make possible?” or “What helped when you did it before?” Let the client explain the significance. Do not leap from “I'd like to” to assigning homework.

Sustain talk favors keeping things as they are

“Doing it myself feels safer” expresses a reason to maintain the current pattern. Treat it as information about the client's experience, not proof that coaching is failing.

You might reflect: “Checking everything yourself gives you reassurance.” That does not require you to endorse the pattern forever. It shows that you understand its current value before exploring whether the client wants anything different.

Avoid a courtroom response: “But you said you wanted more time.” Contradiction is the dilemma you are exploring, not a mistake you have caught.

Discord concerns what is happening between you

“You're not listening,” “You keep pushing this,” or increasingly defensive exchanges may signal strain in the working relationship. A reason not to change is not the same thing as feeling pressured by the coach.

Respond to the relationship first: “I've moved ahead of you. Let's pause. What would be useful to discuss instead?” Do not answer a complaint about pressure with another motivational question.

None of these categories is a label for the person. Avoid writing “resistant client” as if a moment in a conversation were a stable character trait.

Use a shared direction before evoking motivation

MINT describes four connected processes: engaging, focusing, evoking and planning. You can move back and forth; this is not a rigid session agenda.

1. Engaging: build a working relationship through listening, understanding and respect.
2. Focusing: agree what change, decision or behavior the conversation concerns.
3. Evoking: explore the client's own reasons and resources for that direction.
4. Planning: help develop a next step when the client is ready and wants one.

Planning is not compulsory in every conversation. If the client is deciding whether a goal belongs to them, “What will you do by Friday?” may be premature.

Distinguish a client-owned behavior goal from a decision where you should not favor either outcome. Helping someone follow through on their chosen job search is different from steering them toward resigning, ending a relationship or making a medical decision.

For a genuinely undecided, consequential choice, clarify your role and explore the options without selectively amplifying one side to produce your preferred answer. Do not turn MI into a subtle sales process for a life decision.

A motivational interviewing example for an executive coach

Consider a hypothetical client who has chosen to work on delegation. They want fewer evening hours but worry that mistakes will damage their reputation. This example illustrates responses, not a guaranteed sequence.

Client: “I know I need help, but when something goes wrong, it lands on me. Doing it myself is easier.”

Coach: “You want relief, and you need to trust the work before you can let it go.”

Client: “Exactly. I don't want to spend Friday fixing everything.”

Coach: “What have you seen your team handle well without you?”

Client: “The weekly customer report. Maya already does most of it. I still check every detail.”

Coach: “You already trust her with a large part of the process. The checking is the part you are less sure about changing.”

Client: “Yes. I could probably stop checking the formatting. The numbers would still need a review.”

Coach: “Would you like to explore that as a small test, or stay with what makes handing it over difficult?”

Client: “A test. That feels manageable.”

Notice what did not happen. The coach did not declare the fear irrational, promise the team would succeed or praise agreement. They reflected the dilemma, explored existing capability and asked permission before planning.

Also notice the limit: the client introduced the possible test. If they had said, “Actually, I don't want to work on delegation today,” the coach would need to revisit the focus rather than keep evoking reasons to delegate.

How to offer information without taking over

MI does not require withholding useful expertise. MINT describes an elicit-provide-elicit approach: find out what the person knows, ask permission to share, then explore what they make of the information.

• Elicit: “What have you already considered about reviewing delegated work?”
• Ask and provide: “Would it help to hear one approach? Some teams agree the review criteria before handing over a task.”
• Elicit again: “How does that fit, or not fit, your situation?”

Offer a small amount, not a lecture disguised as permission. “Can I share something?” followed by ten minutes of instructions is still a takeover.

If your contract includes consulting or teaching, name that shift. The client should understand when you are helping them explore and when you are offering professional recommendations. Permission to share information does not remove the limits of your competence.

When should a coach move into an action plan?

Look for the client wanting to discuss how, not simply acknowledging that change might be beneficial. Ask directly: “Would it be useful to explore a next step now?”

If the answer is yes, help the client specify a feasible experiment: what they choose to do, when, what support they want and how they will review it. Keep the wording theirs.

For the delegation example, that might be: “For next week's report, Maya owns the formatting. We agree the numerical checks on Monday, and I review only those on Thursday.” This is an illustrative plan, not a recommendation for every team.

Ask what could make the experiment unworkable. A smaller step may fit better. The client may also decide that the proposed change is not a priority. An honest decision is more useful than a commitment offered to end the session politely.

When a plan stalls, return to curiosity. Was the goal still wanted? Was the step realistic? Did something important change? Do not assume the solution is stronger reminders or more pressure.

Professional boundaries: where MI does not give you permission

Learning a communication approach does not expand your scope of practice. A coach using MI-informed skills is not thereby qualified to treat addiction, eating disorders, trauma or another clinical condition.

If the conversation raises a treatment need outside your competence, discuss appropriate qualified support and the boundaries of any continuing coaching. If there is an immediate safety concern, use your agreed safety procedure and appropriate local emergency resources rather than treating it as an ordinary motivation problem.

In employer-funded coaching, separate the sponsor's objectives from the client's consent and your confidentiality agreement. “The company wants you to be more committed” is not enough to justify steering a client toward longer hours or disclosing private reservations.

Never use MI techniques to overcome a prospect's objections to buying your coaching while pretending the conversation is neutral help. A financial interest makes transparency more important, not less.

A small practice routine for developing the skill

Do not try to master every component in your next client session. Start with deliberate practice and feedback appropriate to your level of training.

1. Choose a low-stakes practice topic. Work with a consenting peer, not a client whose sensitive material you need for an exercise.
2. Practise reflections. Listen to a short statement, offer your understanding, then let the speaker correct it.
3. Listen for ownership. Identify the agreed target and whether the reasons belong to the speaker or someone else.
4. Ask for feedback. “When did you feel understood? When did you feel steered?”
5. Get training and observed feedback. Reading examples is preparation, not evidence that you can deliver MI competently.

If practice involves recording, obtain informed permission and agree how the recording will be stored, accessed and deleted. Do not upload identifiable client conversations to a practice tool without an appropriate basis and clear consent.

The MINT resource library provides learning materials and assessment resources. Use structured training and skilled feedback to develop the method; do not infer specialist competence from having memorized OARS.

Frequently asked questions

Is motivational interviewing the same as coaching?

No. MI is a defined communication approach, while coaching is a broader professional practice. Their emphasis on collaboration and client agency can overlap, but asking coaching questions does not automatically mean you are using MI.

Can life, career and executive coaches use it?

MI-informed skills can be relevant to client-owned behavior change across specialties, within the coach's training and role. The examples here explain application; they do not establish outcomes for every coaching setting or replace professional training.

Should I ask about the pros and cons of every change?

No. First establish whether you are exploring an undecided choice or an agreed behavior-change target. A routine pros-and-cons exercise is not a substitute for listening, and using one mechanically can lose the purpose of the conversation.

What if the client does not want to change?

Respect that answer. Clarify what they do want from coaching and whether the engagement still fits. MI is not permission to keep searching for a question that will turn their no into your yes.

Your next step: prepare one question, then practise listening

Before your next suitable conversation, write down the client-owned focus and one genuinely open question. Then practise the harder part: reflecting the answer instead of immediately asking another question.

If you need wording options, use Coachful's free coaching questions bank to find a prompt for the moment you are preparing for. Treat it as a general coaching resource, not an MI protocol or a substitute for training. Choose one question that fits the client, leave the rest, and listen to what comes back.

Sources and limits

This guide draws on MINT's Understanding Motivational Interviewing for the approach, OARS, the four processes and information exchange, and its resource library for further learning. The coaching dialogues, practice routine and professional-boundary applications are editorial illustrations and guidance. They are not a validated treatment protocol, a competence assessment or a claim of clinical effectiveness.